Sunday, January 4, 2009

post rigamortus. encounters of the spooky kind.

where is god's name is kate bush when you need her? 1980 has come and gone, roland barthes is dead, i am screaming in my brain so loud at all times that i can't go to sleep at night. i will write it on every wall in the city to honor your name. to avenge the death of your father. to bring dignity to all of mankind. to all of god's children. 

i have been a ghost for too long. a ghost with two faces. a ghost with two eyebrows.
people who are poor always see ghosts. 

of course i do! i'm married to one. 

keep climbing. the summit is up there somewhere. what, are you blind?

feeling cold wind on my skin. it's like i'm peeling layers of skin from an onion. i always use my teeth. my teeth will never fall out.

it's gross outside. i don't want to put layers on. 

cardiovascular and iron lung. i will punch you with my fists.

have you ever been drunk and tried looking in a mirror? it's like it's another person. it always freaks my shit out. every god damn time. jaques lacan explains this as the mirror stage. the self as the other. human beings are the only animals capable of recognizing the image in a mirror as their own. my cat doesn't understand. bambi didn't understand.

 i need another person to be my mirror. i'm in need. how do you get to the salvation army? how do you travel through your bedroom walls? yes, the yellow ones that were cast from plaster.

it's been raining. i'm been making money like the way it likes to rain. 

my body is a temple. my image is a stage. oh my sweet disposition! what compels me to go? 

black magic. i have a friend who practices witchcraft. i also have a friend who is married to nine locusts. this is technically not polygamy since locusts are only bugs and not human being like you and i.

i am a river, and my body is wild and free while my mind remains logical. i move in and around the dirt, filling whatever crevices needs to be filled and then moving on to the next empty riverbed. i make canyons. i destroy civilizations. i am a home for many schools of fish with tiny, razor sharp teeth for nibbling at your toes. you will need a boat in order to navigate my thoughts.

 you will be more comfortable, however, on a yacht. a yacht with many loose women and and a never-ending supply of champagne. a band of prostitutes is a constitution of prostitutes who may or may not be related to one another.

this is the new year. i am channeling my negative energy into more productive activities. advice given to me by my best friend. best friends and worst enemies. a man who will sit on your porch and talk to you about all of your problems. all of your residual mental illnesses. many demons, many fathers. i am stubborn as a mule. i am looking someone equally stubborn to keep me in line. i do not mean to offend you. i love you more than life itself.

my gangster is hereditary, i am a living revolutionary.

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